These really isn't mixed signals but show how disconnected with reality the MLCer is:
Right after H left he just couldn't understand why S24 wanted nothing to do with him. He asked me what was wrong with S. He honestly just didn't get it.
H asked me one time if I wanted a dresser ow had and was trying to get rid of.
The ones that get me the most are when H wants sympathy for something that directly have to do with the decision he made to leave his family or when he thinks I should feel sorry for the ow.
Admittedly, these types of things haven't happened in a long time, but I remember how they absolutely blew my mind.
They have this strange need to connect us to OW. My ex stated one time that he thought we should be good friends.
The ability to not see ones consequences to actions is so much a apart of the ML'er. It makes you crazy if you let it.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
These stories would be quite funny if they weren't so sad. Way back in the day my x's new wifey thought it would be a great idea if he and I had a coffee date once a week to prove to the kids that we were friends. Ummm - thanks. But no.
~ swl
Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. {Henry Wadsworth Longfellow}
Here's another ... Just a month ago ex saw photo of me from a friend's party. He sent me a text that I looked great and that he would have asked me for a date if he had seen me. My reply..." um, you were married to me, you could have been with me anytime you wanted,now couldn't you have."
I was also asked to dinner but I asked him if he was still in a relationship. His reply was yes. At which point I told him that us meeting was cheating... Lol Dead silence on the other line. Lol. So I said, aren't you happy? Silence.
Okay, okay. Not exactly the mixed signal you have all been speaking of, but definitely out there.
The OW emailed me and wanted me to feel sorry for her that her husband had cheated on her and left their marriage. Therefore, she was forced to engage in an affair with my husband.
Can't get a mixed signal from XH. He hasn't spoken to me in over a year.
He'd heard about my annual Christmas party that I hold every year even when we were together. His comment in anger was, "Must be nice to be partying, I have 24 solid hours of wrapping yet to do and ow has 9."
According to S27, it didn't help H's mood any when he went to work the next Monday and the people at work that attended were still talking about how good the food was and how much fun they'd had.
Come to think of it that was the Monday I received the email about the phone bill long distance charges...
Can I say that this all makes me feel like I'm not so alone in my crazy world......thank you
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Not really mixed signals but eyes opener, from us to him:
5 months after bomb, XH asked the kids where and what they wanted to do. Their answer: " Lets go to matante's house and ride the 4 wheeler in her trails.( my sister's place )
A comment he made to me: " It was hard to do something with them on my own! " I GAVE HIM A LOOK AND KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT.
I had 2 missed calls so i called him back Me: " Did you call? " XH: " Aaaah negative, aaaah maybe, i tought about it but, maybe? i don't remember if i did or not. I wanted to know how you were doing? The funniest part, it wasn't him that called but one of my female friend.
He started seeing the impact of his crap in my life so he asked: " I feel bad seeing you like this. Do you want me to stop calling you? I think it is giving you hopes! Me: " If you didn't see me or talk to me, would you feel this way? XH without hesitation: "NO" Me: " Than, for your own good, wouldn't it be better if you didn't talk to me? XH: " I don't know! "
once, he stood by the counter and scrubbled on a piece of paper. What a babe! Try,try,try, probably not for yourself! need to let go forever. Those were written while talking about coming home.
Wow exquisite, that is some weird stuff... how are your children in all of this?
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
