THE SHOW MUST GO ON

[itsy]

hello Trusting
I read in the beginning of this thread that you and X and OW were at a school function and talking and he turned and kissed OW. Sometimes being on the defense for so long hurts more than you realize. For me if this had happened while I was talking to my X, I simply would have rolled my eyes or made a face, laughed and just turned and walked away, not even saying goodbye, just walked away. It is your ability to send the message that you will not tolerate any bad behavior on your part. It just makes them stop and think.
To me it has become more powerful to let my feelings and actions say what I mean without saying a word. You will get to this point someday, it is only by becoming stronger within yourself that will help heal you and stop the pain and hurt. Stop addressing and analyzing his behavior, instead take the time to analyze and learn what you will tolerate and put up with, it will help you heal faster and stronger, so that the next time you are prepared for his idiotic imbecilic behavior.
And stop giving her so much power.. she is really nothing...absolutely nothing and if you understand that you hold all the power because you were married to him for 25 years, that you had a marriage, children, home and family that she craves, you are way ahead of her in importance..You always will be, no matter what, do not allow her to take that away from you by acknowledging her in any regard any , get stronger day by day, find your strength and do not tolerate his or hers behavior to dictate you life...and never , ever acknowledge her never...
I am sorry if this sounds harsh. I once had a psychiatric patient say to me " you mean what you say and say what you mean" I guess that is true. One day you will reach a point that tolerance of idiotic behavior is a thing of the past, you will get there, hang in there