Living with a WAW while going through a D part II

[CO1978]

I told her that she did not have to since I knew she was on vacation. She looked annoyed and said she didn't mind. I said thank you.

I recently had a similar encounter with my W. She paid me back money she spent from my bank account. I right away insisted she didn't have to, but thanked her. I am thinking instead of saying "You didn't have to" right away and invalidating what they did, we should thank them for their generosity. Then tell them something like "Its very thoughtful you did _____ for me, and you really didn't have to, but I am happy you did."

[Rick1963]

Good point Co. Will keep it in mind.

[Rick1963]

Came home from work said hi to W she said same. Worked out a bit and we ate dinner. Tried some small talk but W was not receptive so I shut it. Went to basement and use the eliptical for five minutes boring to do. Noticed that D's drums were set up again. When this started W packed everything in the basement. So there are 3 options

1 She is no longer in a rush
2 She is having second thoughts
3 She is buying me out (she initially said she would not)

Or I am mind reading. Who knows. I told my boss who bought me book for Christmas that hers was the onay gifft I got this year. I shouldn't have anything.

[Rick1963]

Tomorrow is W's birthday I guess I will wish her a good one but no card or present. I hope D does not get upset but she has not said anything. Can not believe that this is where we are at this stage in our lives.

Last night D and I had great convo. Again she talked about being a tattoo artist. I said she should invent an ink that would disappear in 20 years since many regret them later on.We also laughed that some who put the name of GF/BF name on their arms.

[sunshine76]

((( Rick )))

Can not believe that this is where we are at this stage in our lives.

I know. Sometimes it seems surreal that we are even in this position to begin with.

I wish that I had something profound to say that would lift your spirits, but my strengths are listening and being a smarta$$

Your daughter wanting to be a tattoo artist is so cool!!!! The fact that you support her is even more cool. There are alot of parents that would be throwing a fit.

Try to hang in there. I'll be thinking about you.

[gunny]

Hey rick,
Does your divorce care group start up again soon? Just wondering, mine is still going on. Don't they recycle and start again?

Just started clearing up here, hope to get out to get a walk in soon, have a good day buddy!

[Rick1963]

Hey Gunny I believe group starts end of January


Venting

Tried small talk with W during dinner but she gives the same one word answers. I am having a hard time being funny never had that problem. I think I need to give up the fight for this M and move on. I can not help it my gut tells me that there are secrets being kept from me. Either about W or D. I am usually right about my hunches. Hope to not sound paranoid

When I started posting here many said I had anger issues. TBH I did but mostly with W. Truthfully I always had trust issues with her. She is secretive, has lied to.me and been deceitful. I think she is the only person on the planet that gets to me. For the most part I let stuff roll off my back but not with her?

I think is because lying goes against the core of who I am. Lying is not a part of my make up. I will only lie if I am not aware of the truth.

Yes I want to be done with this. Her arrogance is getting to me and I am starting to forget why I am here.

[sunshine76]

Hey Rick, just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you.

I can not help it my gut tells me that there are secrets being kept from me. Either about W or D.

I felt the same way and found out my gut was right. I guess from a DBing standpoint whether or not your W is keeping secrets doesn't really matter. Like everyone on this board has reminded me our W's view themselves as single people now. We are not privey to information that we once were. We sure as he11 can't change their behavior so we have to find a way to let the control go.

Hang in there buddy you are going to make it through this!

[Rick1963]

Today is W's birthday. I said happy birthday when she came to the kitchen and she smiled and said thank you. Pretty weird stuff. Usually I would have given her a kiss and a hug. And when I would get home D and I would give her a gift certificate to a store of her choosing. Today nada

One thing that I have noticed is that since this started she is obssessed with cleaning the kitchen. She runs the dishwasher everyday? Spoons are still missing we only have a few left?

[sunshine76]

Sounds like another fun day for you... On the bright side atleast she smiled at you and thanked you.

I am sure I am way off base here, but I used to watch Intervention on tv all of the time so your spoon comment caught my attention. I wasn't sure if you were joking around about your missing spoons or if you might be suspecting drug use?

Hang in there