Indecision and the affair continues (Part 2)

[Nblost]

We are on "vacation" right now together with the kids. We had a blow out on Christmas Eve night (I know, right?) and I told him I was done. I was going to be the one to pull out of this triangle. H said I am making him really mad by questioning him about his A.

Later that night, I went to talk to H and we ended up sleeping together and he said he still loves "me and the kids". I think we are a package deal.

Now we are on our ski trip. H stays up every night until 5 am because he can't sleep (or, he has told OW he isn't sleeping with me or something). Our interactions seem very shallow/superficial.

I am trying to get us into counseling and H seems agreeable. However, having a hard time getting a session scheduled before H leaves town again.

I'm very much in a place where this either needs to change dramatically (H splits from OW) or we separate.

Ugh.