Gnosis wrote me a song! (well he stole it from Iron Man by Black Sabbath) but it goes like this: R was the husband
Has T lost her mind? Can she see or is she blind? Can she walk at all, Or if she moves will she fall? Is she alive or dead? Has she balls within her thread? R I'll just pass you there why should I even care?
T was turned to steel in the great infidelity field When she woke up in time to the detriment of R-kind
R doesn't want her T just stares at R Planning her vengeance That will soon unfurl
Now the time is here for to spread fear Vengeance from the Marriage grave Kick the ass she once bathed
She doesn’t want R T just turns her head She doesn’t help him Now she has her revenge
Heavy boots of lead fill R full of dread Running as fast as she can because T lives again!
I put this up on my wall in my bedroom when I filed for divorce. Gnosis really helped me through this hell. I don't know how I could've done it without him or my friends here on the board.
Luv
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
I have my playlist divided into 'sad' and 'happy' songs.... Sometimes I really need a good cry and certain songs can trigger that so I can get it over with quickly... then other times I need to be upbeat so I can go on with my day. These are just a few selections from the 2 playlists:
Happy:
Just Fine, Mary J Blige …. No time for moping around, are you kidding/ And no time for negative vibes, cause I’m winning/ It’s been a long week I put in my hardest/ Gonna live my life, feels so good to get it right/ So I like what I see when I’m looking at me when I’m walking past a mirror/ Don’t stress thought the night at a time in my life and worried about if you feelin’/ Got my head on right, got my vibe right I ain’t gonna let you kill it/ See I won’t change my life, my life’s just fine.
Make Yourself, Incubus …. If you let them make you, make you paper mache/ At a distance you’re stong, until the wind comes/ The you crumble and blow away/…..you should make amends with you/ And falling for better help/ but if you really want to live/ Why not try and make yourself
What doesn’t kill You, Kelly Clarkson (I’m sure I will be ridiculed for liking an American Idol, oh well) …. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger/ Stand a little taller/ Doesn’t mean I’m lonely when I’m alone/ What doesn’t kill you makes a fighter/ Footsteps even lighter/ doesn’t mean I’m over cause you’re gone/ What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger/ Just me, myself and I/ What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…
What do You Want from Me, Adam Lambert (I swear I never watched American Idol!) …. There might have been a time when I would let you slip away/ I wouldn’t even try, but I think you could save my life/ But now, here we are/ So what do you want from me/ Just don’t give up, I’m working it out/ Please don’t give in, I won’t let you down/ It messed me up, need a second to breathe/ Just keep coming around/ What do you want from me
Sad:
The Space Between, Dave Matthews …. But I’ve got all the time for you love/ the space between the tears we cry, Is the laughter that keeps us coming back for more/ the space between the wicked lies we tell and hope to keep safe from the pain/ but will I hold you again? ....the space between your heart and mine is the space we fill with time. White Flag, Dido …. I will go down with this ship/ I won’t put my hands up and surrender/ there will be no white flag above my door/ I’m in love, and always will be… How, Maroon 5 …. Though I don’t understand the meaning of love, I do not mind if I die tryin’/ took you for granted when you lifted me up/ I’m asking for your help, I am going through he!!/ Afraid nothing can save me but the sound of your voice/ You cut out all the noise and now that I can see mistakes so clearly now/ I’d kill if I could take you back/ but how? The Air that I Breathe, Maroon 5 .... It’s changing the way things were for the way that they should be/ It’s choosing these words, to saying her/ The things that she never heard, but always deserved/ I’ve figured out what it is all about/It’s you that I could never live without/You’re everything/ The air that I breathe/ Stupid not to know it all along/ And everything I ever did was wrong/ Sadly it’s too late for sorry.
Cry, Kelly Clarkson If anyone asks, I’ll tell them we both just moved on/ When people all stare, I’ll pretend that I don’t hear them talk/ Whenever I see you, I’ll swallow pride/ Pretend I’m ok with it all/ Act like there’s nothing wrong
Chorus: Is it over yet Can I open my eyes? Is this as hard as it gets? Is this what it feels like to really cry?
If anyone asks, I’ll tell them we just grew apart/ What do I care if they believe me or not/ Whenever I feel your memory is breaking my heart/ I’ll pretend I’m ok with it all/ Act like there’s nothing wrong
Chorus
I’m talking in circles/ I’m lying, they know it/ Why this won’t this just stop?!
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
I might add that Rob Thomas / Matchbox 20 has a ton of songs about breaking up -- probably makes up most of their repertoire. Many of them can fall in either the "speaks" or "banned" section.
One that came out later but picked me up was Cee Lo Green Oh yeah... our song was Sade: By your Side See if you can find any irony in that.
You think I'd leave your side baby You know me better than that You think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees I wouldn't do that
I'll tell you you're right when you want, I And if only you could see into me
Oh when you're cold, I'll be there Hold you tight, to me
When you're on the outside baby and you can't get in I will show you, you're so much better than you know When you're lost and you're alone and you can't get back again I will find you, darling and I will bring you home
And if you want to cry I am here to dry your eyes And in no time, you'll be fine
You think I'd leave your side baby You know me better than that You think id leave you down when you're down on your knees I wouldn't do that
I'll tell you you're right when you want, I And if only you could see into me
Oh when you're cold, I'll be there Hold you tight to me Oh when you're low I'll be there by your side, baby
Oh when you're cold, I'll be there Hold you tight, to me (to me) Oh when you're low I'll be there by your side, baby
Two songs that tore me up when my sitch just began were "Smile" by Charlie Chaplin (probably the saddest song ever written) and "I Will Follow You into the Dark" by Death Cab For Cutie. I still don't think that I can listen to them anymore.
Another song that I can't listen to is "Rollercoaster" by Everything But The Girl. I listened to it a lot in the first few days after W told me about her A:
I still haven't got over it even now. I want to spend huge amounts of time on my own. I don't want to cause any serious damage. I want to make sure that I can manage, because I'm not really in your head, I'm not really in your head.
And I see love and disaffection and the clouds build up and won't pass over. This is my road to my redemption. And my life is just an image of a rollercoaster anyway.
I still haven't got over it even now. I want to spend huge amounds of time in my room. And I'm not coming out until I feel ready, not running out for a while my heart's unsteady, and I'm not really in your head. I'm not really in your head.
When you sky falls to minus zero, well some things must dissappear. Oh this is my road to my redemption.
And my life is just an image of a rollercoaster anyway. The names may have been changed but the faces are the same The names may have been changed but as people we're not the same.
And I'm not, no I'm not, no I'm not really in your head.
And my life is just an image of a rollercoaster anyway. Yeah, my life is just an image of a rollercoaster anyway.
My lifelong friend, Kelli (when with Sneaker Pimps), wrote a song called "Velvet Divorce" for the movie "A Life Less Ordinary". Ironically now we're both LBS and can't listen to it anymore, esp because she is the singer too. You can find it on Youtube. Great song but bums me out nowadays.
Basically, any music I identify with my W or our marriage soundtrack is tough for me so I have been listening to my 13 yr old's music lately because its safe.
As much as I cringe to say this publicly... "Back to December" by Taylor Swift really speaks to me. "The Cave" by Mumford & Sons also does but I think I need to hear it a few more times to be sure.
Married 6 together 8 Me:38 W:31 second marriage for both SS12, SD10, S6 Bomb: 9/8/11 (day before our 5 yr ann) W moved out: 2/18/12 D final: 11/12/12 Share S 50/50. Spend as much time as I can with SS & SD