Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
These are priceless and have made my day. We all have to keep reminding ourselves about the massive amount of confusion our Mlc'ers have.
I have one that happened to me right after my divorce. Ex's Christmas present to me that year was a gift bag full of sensual lotions and potions. He put on the card, "Merry Christmas from ex and the kids..... wtf
Lotions and Potions! Best mixed signal yet!
(I hope you found a good use for the gift ;-)
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
I wish I could tell you that I use them all up....
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
I know this is meant to be funny, but these mixed signals really bug me because while they might indicate confusion, they also indicate complete disregard for our feelings.
I'm not sure I could put up with that again.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
Last summer when h was in the heat of MLC crisis, we were driving into town and caught a glimpse of a man appearing to be in his 60's driving a sting ray. H laughed and said, "Oh man, he's got his mid life crisis car!" I tell you, I rolled with laughter, not at the old guy and his car but at H and how oblivious he was in that moment.
The night after BD and a trip to the ER to get my heart checked, since I have a heart cond. , I was still feeling upset, sitting in the bedroom crying and shaking. H came in and informed me that if I had a few glasses of wine, I might feel better and calm down. Thing is, he's known all of our lives together that I cannot drink due to the medication I take. He's known forever that it would kill me if I mixed it with alcohol. So, that was a pretty, wtf moment.
There are many more but it's just too much to list them. I know that when when they are on the MLC train, their minds are completely on themselves.
Really it is pathetic what they say. Their synapses are not connecting correctly. I really believe that most do not realize the impact that their words cause.
During my divorce trial, yes trial, ex wanted all the drama he could have and fought me for everything. In the middle of the trial he blurted out......"i hope your mother dies". I remember the bailiff saying "oh my god". My mother was dying from kidney cancer and in his sick mind he said that because he knew I would get an inheritance and then he thought he would not have to pay me child support...... wtf
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
I'm not sure I buy this "Oh, they don't know what they are saying." I mean, I might buy this to a certain extent, esp. w/my X as he has a progressive medical condition plus a lot of drugs, but I think healing does involve them taking responsibility for their own actions.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
My ex is now being treated for hormone issues. He gets injections every 4 months from a clinic to rebuild testostorone and DHEA. He is also being treated for PTSD from when his mother passed away and severe anxiety. He has a lot going on. He shared all of this with me when he came over. I had known parts of it for some time, but not the whole thing. He stated that his behavior was due to him not managing his stress and letting it get out of control. This was quite a change for him to say because it has always been my fault in the past.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Trusting, Thank your for sharing. Your h was very forthcoming in what has been going on in his life...thank goodness he has finally sought help. Hopefully, he will settle down and begin to see what a wonderful person you are and the destruction he created during his crisis.
His talking to you is a step in the right direction. I pray that in 2012 he will continue to share things w/you.
Happy New Year!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
