What else could I have done?

[antlers]

I guess it just bothers me. Sure cranked up since October! That's when they first hooked up this time. We've only been divorced for 1 year. Right or wrong, it bothers me for my son to be around him.
"Her misery or happiness cannot be the index by which you measure YOUR life...but only YOU can change that."
How do I change that?
I've been taking better care of myself, going to the gym, riding my bicycles, eating more healthy, trying to be more compassionate to myself and others, and interacting with my brother after an 11 year estrangement. And I don't let my anger control me anymore. You think I take my son's love for granted? He lashes out at me often. I'm on the receiving end of his deep seated anger. He can be ruthless...he knows just how to hurr me. I think he knows I love him. I reached out to my daughters tonight with ....
"I have a lot of regrets about the way I handled things in the marriage as a h and as a father...while I can never make up for what I did, I'd like to do better from now on. So...what's your schedule like? When can We get together?"...
Haven't heard from oldest, but youngest replied with "Ive been busy all break so far."
Yes, I do let what you say to me sink in. I am stuck...but I know it and am working at getting unstuck. I have to mentally do it...where the head goes, the heart will follow. I haven't forgiven her. I don't want to hold on to the pain anymore though. Me having pain "this far out"? I've only been divorced a year. And I've only been working on the pain since Halloween. All the rest of the time I've been holding on. My son is finally in counseling, although he's catching hell for it from his mother snd sisters. He is torn. I've caught hell for it too (text message from daughter). His mom never wanted him in counseling after she left. We've been playing a lot. We'll try to laugh more too.