WHG: When last we heard from our action hero...

[workinghardguy]

Nope... not ok with it LA... but really what other choice do I have? When she gets home I could certainly start in on her... but do I think it would change her behavior? Nope. It would drive her away faster.

I could ignore it and not do anything, which would be ok too.

I just did the coffee and the sandwich b/c I know my W. I know she won't have eaten since who knows when. So while she is hungover, sick, and tired going to work, what wouldn't be helpful is her being hungry too.

And it's subtle, but to me the difference is that I stopped at Subway for me initially. I was hungry and since I was making Chef Boyardee for the kids I knew I needed something. As I was in line I realized that it would kind of be an a-hole move to come home with a delicious sandwich while my roommate is starving and, technically, paid for half my sandwich (since our finances are still together).

So I got her one too. Could she have stopped for one? Sure. Did I have to do it? Nope. Do I think getting it for her communicated that I support her choices? I don't think so... I think I communicated that I'm not angry and don't really care what she does.

Do I wish for her own sake she would change her habits? Absolutely. But I don't believe I have any currency, at least as things stand now, in that decision. So since I lack currency there's no point in trying to spend it.