I think my H also misses the freedom of not having children. They both seem to want to not have that added responsibility. It is good that you recognize this and try to handle the kid as much as possible when he is around.
Also since he claims that you too work better as friends than partners can you try to be more sexy around him in subtle ways. If he feels attracted to you physically it may make him want more than friendship. Every time I see my H now, I dress for him. Tight shirt and tight jeans. Its within my style range but a little more geared towards attracting him then I normally dress.
Also maybe at some point you can say something like "I love the idea of just being friends with you but its hard cause I still so attracted to you" Rather than it being about needing him as a provider its more about sex which he may like. Also it reinforces his want of just being friends. (Anyway I am thinking of saying something like this to my H but just waiting for the right moment)
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
Thank you for the advice. I like it. I have lost so much weight since we separated 6 mos ago, I need to go out and buy me some tight jeans. I do wear my yoga pants around him because they fit like a glove.
Hopeful from a guys perspective I would get some tight jeans, maybe some nice sexy dresses and shoes A new hair style and a nicely scented perfume. Make up is always nice too. Make sure you don't giving in. Let him work for it and I mean work hard for it. You must have a "he does not deserve me" attitude. Good luck
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Rick - I liked the "he does not deserve me attitude". I know I had that attitude when my H was pursuing me so I think I need to reestablish that. I think my H is definitely more into me if he thinks he cant have me.
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
I must say as a guy, nothing sexier than the tight yoga pants! I agree some new clothes to show off your weight loss is a great idea, not sure if anyone suggested to maybe get your hair done (or colored) as well. Make yourself look your best. A quote I always used in my life I got from one of my Drill Instructors back when I went through Marine Corps Boot Camp: "You have to look good, to feel good!"
M 33 W 29 S 4 M 5 T 7 11/7/11 Separation, W moves in with parents 12/1/11 W: "IDLY, I'm not coming back, it's over" 1/7/12 D Bomb Dropped
Thanks for the suggestions. Well, we can have sex for another 4 wks (because of surgery), so meanwhile I will look sexy and make him hungry for me. This is exciting. Thanks again
When you think of a man think of an episdoe in animal kingdom. The male persues the female but she makes him work for it. She fights him off and he wants it more. Go figure
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
A new hair style and a nicely scented perfume. Make up is always nice too. Make sure you don't giving in. Let him work for it and I mean work hard for it. You must have a "he does not deserve me" attitude. Good luck
I agree some new clothes to show off your weight loss is a great idea, not sure if anyone suggested to maybe get your hair done (or colored) as well. Make yourself look your best. A quote I always used in my life I got from one of my Drill Instructors back when I went through Marine Corps Boot Camp: "You have to look good, to feel good!"