I really struggle with what you are saying. It seems to me that every time I feel like I am being treated wrongly, I find that there is some way that I was being unkind, or was somehow at fault. I, myself, have a long history of a bad temper, which I am just now getting control over. Even W says that she has been intimidated by me, and even feared for her own safety (I never actually hit her, but I got into her face, and with some distance I can understand - to my own horror - how she could have felt so threatened).
Whenever I tell my IC (I have a new one, for anger management) about the interaction between me and W, it seems to her that W is being unreasonable. But I always wonder if I am telling the whole story, because all of the events seem so different once I discuss it with W. Everything I tell you here is from my own point of view, and filtered through my own memory. I don't know how many relevant parts of the conversation I am not relating here, because often I even find myself surprised to discover what parts of an interaction my memory leaves out, and how it changes the meaning of the conversation.
Honestly, I don't even know how I should or shouldn't be treated anymore, or whether W or I are at fault for what happens between us. More than anything, I feel really confused.
Think about it...if you met a potential mate who was nothing but a bundle of needs, would YOU be attracted to them?
