Hey CO, I am so proud of you! It sounds like you are truly becoming a man that your wife would be a fool not to love.
You need to get over the self-hatred. You have beat yourself up enough over this and you are making conscious decisions everyday to become a better person/spouse.
You are right that allowing our spouses to vent helps to build trust and a deeper connection. I made the mistake of not listening and not asking and now she has found someone that will do those things for her.
You are doing great! Keep it up
M:(f) 35 W: 45 3 dogs and 2 cats T: 9 years 9/30/11 I love you, but I'm not in love with you OW confirmed 12/23/11