Hi Greg - Sorry you find yourself here. So that forum members can offer words of wisdom and advice, please provide some specifics about your R with your W.
What have been some of the complaints from your W about you and what is missing in your R?
What 180's have you tried? Which ones seem to be working and which ones seem not to be working?
You mentioned the passing of your W's father and brother early in your marriage but what of it? Do you think these traumatic events are a factor in your sitch?
What are you doing to Get A Life away from the daily reminders of your marital problems?
If you could share some of this information it will be much easier for members to provide guidance.
Also, if you could break apart your comments in smaller sections it makes it easier to follow.
Hang in there, You will get support!
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife