I always enjoy your upbeat attitude. You definitely seem to be making the best of a painful situation and doing what's right for your S.
Thanks labug!
Originally Posted By: labug
I hope you're not setting yourself up for disappointment with the quickie request.
In my mind the worst thing she could have said is no. She smiled and laughed and said she would think about it, so that was better than a no, even if she never says anything else about it. I won't bring it up again, at least not any time soon. :p
M 33 W 29 S 4 M 5 T 7 11/7/11 Separation, W moves in with parents 12/1/11 W: "IDLY, I'm not coming back, it's over" 1/7/12 D Bomb Dropped
CO - I always look forward to your updates. In an odd sense, and I think I've mentioned this before, I see some parallels in our respective situations. I just think you are several months out in front of me. It seems things are going better for you, so I would HOPE you are a few months out in front of me.
As mentioned in my thread, I said "Merry Christmas, hon" to my W at noon when she was dropping of S. She didn't say it bak and isn't make a lot of eye contact. It felt weird - and certainly didn't mean it as a romantic gesture. Nor was it expressed as such. Guess she just didn't know what to say. I say that to say me asking for a quickie PROBABLY would have resulted in my taking a boot to the pills.
Keep up the good work, CO. I am pulling for you, your wife and your son. In the meantime - let's both keep working on strengthening our bond with out little boys.
I say that to say me asking for a quickie PROBABLY would have resulted in my taking a boot to the pills.
Ha you always have something to say that cracks me up. As I said I only asked because I thought there was an opening, and took a chance. Could it backfire, yes, could it work, maybe, and it could be status queue. I am hoping to get an "in" so maybe next month I can say to her something like this:
I completely respect your decision to move out. I only hope that when you decide that you are ready for a relationship or to start dating you would consider giving me a chance. We didn't start out "in love". We started as 2 people who were attracted to each other and found out we had a lot of common interests. Well nothing is so different from then, so what harm can it do if we started over from day one and date and see where it leads us.
M 33 W 29 S 4 M 5 T 7 11/7/11 Separation, W moves in with parents 12/1/11 W: "IDLY, I'm not coming back, it's over" 1/7/12 D Bomb Dropped
This morning I must say W seemed in a really good mood once again. When she came into house she actually sat beside me on couch (not on far end of couch, more in middle a lot closer than before). She said she was starting to feel sick again and asked me to feel her head to see if she was hot. She was, so I offered her some Tylenol. She was wrapped in a blanket, I commented on it being new, she said feel it, it so soft. She mentioned she loved soft blankets like that and fuzzy socks (like the ones I got her for Christmas). I Mentioned she had fuzzy slippers now too. We talked about S and his how much he enjoyed Christmas. We both had a few laughs. We also talked about her getting her new car, about her work and her boss, then the next thing I noticed I was a little bit late for work. I told her I had to hurry and she told me to have a nice day as I left. Like I said before it seemed like another really positive interaction. When I got home, I noticed she fixed my computer (stupid virus). I do have to call her (if she doesn't call me first) to figure out change over for S (and I will sneak in a thank you for fixing computer). Now I don't go back to IC until next Wednesday, but last time I was in, he mentioned that he wanted to see both of us again together, and I told him she probably wouldn't go for it. Depending on the next 8 days, as of right now and all of our positive interactions, should I ask her if she is willing to go? I wouldn't say anything to her until after my next IC and say he asked me to ask her when I was just there. I would hope then I could bring up what I mentioned in my last post (or is that too soon too?) I figure if its at the counseling session it wouldn't seem too much like perusing.
M 33 W 29 S 4 M 5 T 7 11/7/11 Separation, W moves in with parents 12/1/11 W: "IDLY, I'm not coming back, it's over" 1/7/12 D Bomb Dropped
Seems like your W liked the comment about the quickie but you need to be cautious. I remember you saying that your sex life was not an issue in your R it was more about communication (same with me) so why not try to get her to open the door a little via sex. It sounded like she like how hot you thought she looked. My suggestions is next time tell her she looks hot when she is wearing sweat pants or looking more causal. Also instead of bring up the quickie at MC say something like "I have always been very attracted to my W so its been really hard not being intimate with her". What woman wouldnt like to hear that?
Keep it up
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
Thanks BklynMom, great suggestion. The thing is I may not get her to MC again (still trying to get her to go once more with me), is their another way or time to say what you suggested: "I have always been very attracted to my W so its been really hard not being intimate with her". I do think if we were to have sex we would really connect again, which is why I think she is being very cautious with it.
M 33 W 29 S 4 M 5 T 7 11/7/11 Separation, W moves in with parents 12/1/11 W: "IDLY, I'm not coming back, it's over" 1/7/12 D Bomb Dropped
W just dropped S off. She brought Christmas gift "from" S with her which she said she forgot yesterday. It was an accessory for my iphone, which wasn't right one, so she said she would exchange it for a different one. I asked her if she could pick me up some batteries from work, since she gets them cheep. Also I asked her to show me how to adjust car seat for S, since he is out growing it so fast. I asked her if it was a new sweatshirt she was wearing, she said no, its one her sister gave her a while ago, she just never wore it. (I am hoping I am getting a few points for noticing stuff like that?) She mentioned when she was leaving how she wasn't going to see S for 2 days and how hard it is not seeing him for even a day. I agreed with her. Then she said its just something that she will have to adjust to. She left, as she had to go to work to pick up stuff for next day, so we didn't get to really talk much. So anyway a Christmas gift from her is good right? I am hoping the more she misses S, she will start to rethink this. I know she is probably too far in right now not to follow through, but I am okay with that for now.
M 33 W 29 S 4 M 5 T 7 11/7/11 Separation, W moves in with parents 12/1/11 W: "IDLY, I'm not coming back, it's over" 1/7/12 D Bomb Dropped
Seems like you are doing all of the right things, CO. Not much to say here but good luck and keep it up. Let me update that - my HS band director (yeah, I was a band nerd - what's up?!) always said "luck is for the unprepared". So don'y be lucky - be prepared. And it looks a lot like you are prepared.
