"I also saw an email he sent to himself about things he wanted to discuss in out MC sessions (this email was over 2 weeks ago, so I'm not sure if he still feels the same ways)"
Big discovery ^^^^ but.... this was 2 weeks ago and... then you kind of answer your own question below.
"I know that feelings come and go. In fact, these past few days I've really felt like we've been having fun... and then I see this. But I also have to tell myself that those thoughts/feelings were 2 weeks ago.... so there's a chance they are the same anymore."
I believe that feelings in one moment are shaped by past events and subject to influence by future events. So, sad as it may be, hang on and do your best to endure the emotional roller coaster that your sitch has become. I can say with absolute certainty that feelings are subject to change, whether they be good or bad. So, just know this and do your best DB'ng.
"The only thing that has really changed in these 2 weeks is me getting notice that I may have a terminal diagnosis... I can only hope that this 'scare' might have sparked his feelings awake knowing that I might actually die. But then again, he might be thinking: "awesome, that's less alimony I have to pay out!" (I would hope he's not that heartless)"
I'm sorry to hear of your potential illness, but surely you know that positive thinking is super important in these stressful times in your life. So, STOP the negative thoughts^^^^! Okay?
We're all here for you and each other and I will pray for your continued good health.
Hang in there!
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
