Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time

[ClingingToHope]

Hectic few days. Had second date with DHU-41 and it went very well. We talked a little bit about how it's going to be difficult to see each other. I work a lot. She lives with her sister so I won't just be hanging around there. She said she'll work around my schedule.

We texted a lot last night and it got pretty "interesting" and we were going to see each other today, but then her 14-year-old son told her he was going on his first date and she canceled to help him get ready.

That's fine with me. This is the one week of the winter I don't have much to do. No basketball games. I'll only have the girls Wednesday and Saturday.

The only downer was I spent the morning cleaning rather than donating plasma or catching up at work. Then again, I really needed to clean.

Christmas weekend was good. I took the girls to Wisconsin Dells on Friday. D12 was irritable on the way down and I had to pull over once. It's all school/boy/confidence issues.

Friday was fun. Friday night was more fun. D12 and I went to see "Jack and Jill" while D9 just rested in hotel room. It's a terrible movie. It's so bad it was funny.

Saturday morning D12 again overreacted to something D9 did and they both wanted to just pack up and go home. It took a while, and a little anger, which I'm always trying to avoid, to get them going.

Then it was a great day. They painted pottery. Went to the water park. Played in the arcade. Easy trip home.

D9 was developing an illness so she just laid down when we got home. D12 wrapped more presents.

Sunday morning was the first Christmas they woke up with me. Last year I let them wake up at their traditional home because I wasn't sure how long XW would have it.

Now that it looks like she'll be there a while longer I wanted to have them wake up here. Anyway, D9 wanted XW to come over here. So I invited her and we opened presents here and then I went with them over to the other house and opened presents there.

They were happy. They both got the big things they wanted. I got D9 the present she really was hoping for. XW got D12 the present she wanted.

I only had three presents each and XW had two the girls had picked out. They got me four presents.

XW had a bunch of presents for them. I am guessing she got some money from her mom to go big on presents to kind of match up with my yearly trip.

It worked out well. I took the dog for a walk then I left. I think that surprised the girls. They didn't ask me to stay, but I think they just assumed I'd stay for a while.

But XW's family was coming over and I didn't want to stay. I just headed home and laid on the couch and worked on a stat project. Lifted weights a little and then started texting with DHU-41. We were going to talk but the racy messages filled the time.

I am struggling right now with slowing my brain down. I just start thinking about how this could happen, which could lead to this, which could lead to this.

Mental gymnastics. I have to learn to just be thankful for today.

At the end of October I was facing bankruptcy. I may still end up in bankruptcy but the car accident took off some of the immediate pressure and actually led to a better Christmas trip.

Two weeks ago I was thinking about basically taking the winter off from dating and just concentrating on the various jobs.

Now I have an exciting new lady willing to work around my schedule to see me.

I am just trying to learn to be happy today and let the rest of everything work itself out.

I always talk about how XW just can't be happy with her life. She's always looking for the next thing to make her happy. She'll find something and it leads to temporary happiness.

In my case, I am happy with myself, but I try to make things perfect. I don't let things just be "good enough."

I was happy with XW, but I was always trying to push things, make things even more perfect. That's good to a point but tiring.

Here, I should just be happy to have found someone to spend time with, but I keep thinking about the complications that could come about and how to handle those.

I need to stop and just be.

Anyway. Merry Christmas.