Feels like the bottom of 9th with 2 outs

[NYCPeter]

When you react as you do, (justifiable as it may be) I think you may be pushing your W further out the door and I don't think that is your goal. Is it?

It's not the goal - but at the end of the day the total disrespect and selfishness is just too much - she is doing all of this on purpose and with a lack of consideration for others, too many incidents to be an accident.

she's only using you as a babysitter because you let her. Have a plan, have somewhere to go...

She goes out after work - I look after the girls while she's at work so as a by-product I end up looking after the girls while she is out partying.

The only reason is bothers you is because you care. You care who is hanging with, who she has relationships with, and what she is doing that might further those. That's not detaching... that's controlling.

In that case I may never detach - if she is working on relationships outside of our M and DBing says detach and not let it get to me, I'm afraid I don't have the strength to be a true DBer.

That being said I think you should quit drinking.

I have quit drinking - a few weeks ago I threw out all the liquor we had in the house (my W drinks wine at home), I'll have a beer or a glass of wine with dinner but that's it. One drink a night.

Ask yourself would your D tell you to walk away or give W more time.

I would hope my D's would recognize why I had to walk away - call it pride, controlling or whatever you want - at the end of the day I know I have contributed to the situation but as soon as I recognized what was happening I did my best to turn it around. My W just keeps adding fuel to the fire...