Destiny, This journey that you are on is very frustrating and difficult. When he asks for your opinion, keep it short and sweet, do not offer up ways to fix him. How would you deal w/a friend who asked for your opinion? That is how you need to look at him right now...a friend. I think the man has some issues that he needs to resolve and he doesn't know what or whom he can trust. Right now, I don't think he trusts you enough to actually open up. He needs to feel "safe" and that's where other people come into the picture because they aer neutral. Destiny, I see a lot of me in your postings...it took me a very long time to come to terms that I couldn't fix my xh and I had to learn how to just listen and offer up just enough information that didn't sound like I was trying to fix my xh or others that would come to me for advice. Sometimes, people will ask for your opinion and they are just bouncing things off of us, i.e., they really don't want to hear what we have to say. Sometimes, they are just looking for reaction, not the words...can you tell if your h is looking for a reaction, i.e., as to how you react to what he wants to talk about? Do you tense up and get uncomfortable when he wants to talk about things? Think about your answers before you respond. The mlcers know us so well and know exactly how we are going to react...
Enjoy your evening, do something different instead of sitting w/him. Find something that you can do by yourself and just leave him to think about things.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
