Honestly, I don't know what to say about her suggesting she wasn't attracted to you sexually, even in the past. I'm sure she believes it. It's her truth.
Personally, I do agree that a woman's opinion in this will be helpful. I've read some stuff here that women find attractive in a man. I guess anything is worth a try.
And as far as being a pushover, fair enough. I have heard that can be unattractive, although I also understand that the opposite isn't necessarily attractive, either.
For nothing else, if your W is willing to share what she finds attractive, it would be helpful. Because no matter what anyone else's opinion is, it is HER that you'd be hoping to attract.
In regards to your counselor's suggestion to file. IDK. I know you know better than to use it as a tactic. That is LRT and it really is for you, that you really want to get on with your life and if your W changes her mind... well, deal with that IF it happens...
It sounds like a tough spot, and yet it's really only as tough as we make it out to be... Just my opinion that if your are trying to work it out AND have filed D... in some ways that's a little indecisive. It may come across to your W that way, as well... she'd know she has "the power" over you because you're waiting for her to change her mind.
