Do I stay or do I go?

[kml]

This was one hell of a mistake..

Agreed.
This was WAY beyond "I accidentally developed feelings for this other person and I'm torn as to what to do".

This was complete and utter disrespect and lack of ANY consideration for you AT ALL.

I'd be worried too about taking such a guy back. I am having a hard time imagining what he would have to do to convince me he had changed. Certainly a year of regular therapy would be a start - I mean, there's some serious issues with a guy who would carry on his affair as openly and inconsiderately as he did.

I mean - most WASs act like inconsiderate idiots. But the way your H carried on in front of you, disregarding completely how rude that was - that speaks to a deep character flaw.

[anyhope]

H called this morning to ask me for breakfast (or lunch) I declined.
He then posted a message on my fb wall, hidden message was how he's sorry and all that to which I promptly posted the song 'jar of hearts' on his wall. Within 2 hours he was knocking on the door with a huge bunch of roses and proceeded to ask for another chance, even the words mc had left his mouth, so that was surprising to hear from him. I turned him down as well as his new years invitation.

[verycrazy]

Wow, girl, you are a real tough cookie. Lots of courage it took to do that. You should teach lessons on it. I think he is beginning to see the idiocy of his actions, and that the future might just not go the way he wants it to. And it seems to be scaring the itshay out of him. As it should.

Good for you, good for you.

He did mention mc, you say?

And did you keep the roses?

vc

[anyhope]

Hi vc, long time no c! Yes of course I kept the roses!
It's not courage though I really just got to that point where I'm really really tired, like what he did sucked the life out of me and I don't have the power and therefore the will to work on anything, so he said he'll wait and yes he did mention mc...
So I think it's good. Hes scared and messed up I can see it on his face he doesnt believe I won't give him another chance so I asked why was it when he told me of ow and I asked for another chance several times he didn't care but now that he thought about it after all that happened I should give it.. So as you can imagine there is nothing he can say but that he was stupid.. What else..

[kml]

BUT - is OW still living with him???? No point in him talking to you about all this until she is GONE!

[anyhope]

I know, therefore I try to avoid him the best I can as she's still there. He swears up and down that there is nothing between them anymore but those are just words.. In in one ear out on the other..
It will be easier to avoid him now with the holidays over I hope.

[anyhope]

Hello All, I'd like to ask if u think it's a good idea or would it backfire if I told h I'm seeing someone. The reason is that he just doesn't get it.. Calls me several times a day and should I not pick up he'll text or mssg me of fb.
I have to tell him the same thing day after day after day and it's just nonsense.

[verycrazy]

I don't think outright lying is a good idea, just my opinion.
If you want to maybe plant that seed in his mind, by telling him you are going out when he calls and you have to run, maybe that would work. And try to just ignore his constant messaging and calling, if you can. He is on the chase to get you back, now, and thinks it's just a matter of persuading you. He just doesn't yet get it that a whole he11 of a lot of work is going to have to be done first, before he can even start to believe he has a chance. Honestly, girl, you are in a great position here. You get to call your own shots. The future is in your hands. I wouldn't let him see any cracks in your determination.

vc

[anyhope]

Hehe thanks vc no cracks there, I can't believe I got to this point it was a very bumpy ride here.. What really helped me I think was when I accepted the things I could not change.. It all got better from there but that took some time.

[anyhope]

Due to the large thread notice, I'll be starting a new one under separated now what..