Need HOPE & Advice

[sunshine76]

Hi Pers, I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. Good for you for taking responsibility for what you have done wrong in the relationship. I know that I screwed up royally too, but now we need to make the neccessary changes and learn to forgive ourselves.

I would say that if she is so anxious for the divorce that she should be able to figure it out for herself how to go about it. If it was me I don't think that I would be able to be a big enough person to help her out with the process. I also think it was heartless of her to ask you to help her. It sounds like she was just trying to hurt you.

Why do I love her... Or am I in love with the memory or shadow of the past?

I have been asking myself this question alot lately as well. I think that we are in love with the memory of them because I personally can't stand the woman that my W has become. It sure seems that detaching from these people should be so much easier than it actually is.

how can I feel at ease knowing that she is tearing the family apart

I don't think that anyone would feel at ease with this, but as of right now you really need to try to stay as positive around her as you can because the alternative is only going to tear your family apart much faster and in a much more traumatic way.

I am sending positive thoughts your way.