DBing against OW...?????

[imthemom]

Thank you N...thats sweet of you..:)
Out of the blue H text this morning asking to spend some time with S14..i said absolutely!!
When he showed up to get him he had gift cards for everyone..myself and the boys...it was awkward and i really didnt know how to respond..i mean, hes been a complete jerk...and then all the sudden this....it made me feel bad, but i couldnt have gotten him anything if i wanted to, i cant even buy for my boys...
I dont know how to deal with him!!!!!

[verycrazy]

Well, hallelujah for that!! Maybe his little grinch heart melted a bit with the guilt he should be feeling. And, don't worry you got him nothing, he deserved nothing, not even coal in his stocking.

I feel for you with the day after Christmas being your birthday. My birthday is today, Christmas Eve, and sometimes I got forgotten in the Christmas bustle. Our preacher's birthday is the same as yours.

I hope you and the boys have a wonderful and blessed Christmas, and spaghetti is a wonderful meal to have. And have a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

vc

[imthemom]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRAZY GURL..!!!!!:)

[imthemom]

After H dropped S14 off this afternoon he text me..i hope you have a merry xmas....trust me, a million responses went threw my head...none of them nice..after about an hour i said same to you..
Then i sat and thought about maybe hes trying, maybe hes lonely, maybe he misses us....i hd S14 invite him tomeet us for hot chocolate....his response was well ill have to see whats going on and then never git back to him....im a friggen idiot....

[verycrazy]

Thanks!

I am glad you waited while all the responses you wanted to say got said in your head instead. THAT sounded like Dr. Suess.
And, no, you aren't a friggin idiot, he is. You try to do the right and nice thing, he says he will or might and doesn't. I hope his brain will clear soon, and he sees just what he is doing to the family.

Take care, vc

[imthemom]

Last night turned out to be harder then expected...the combination of first christmas without H, first christmas of no santa (boys are all grown up) and not being able to buy much for boys caught up to me. Cried myself to sleep wondering why this is happening the way it is...i just dont get it..

I am truly blessed as i had one special friend who stepped up and brought bags of goodies for boys stockings, snacks for xmas eve and even snuck a bag to S14 to stuff MY stocking...such a great friend and will never forget it..
Had me in tears..
so busy today that didnt really think much about it...but this morning S14 posted to his dad on fb..want you here for christmas....
Absolutley broke my heart, and just like last night..he blew him off and did not respond...i dont know how he does it....i really wanna know so i can do it...to him!!
Heartless, spineless immature selfish idiot...my son has been sad most of the day because of him...the only smile i saw was when he surprised ne with my stocking..i cant thank my friend enough for THAT gift...

[verycrazy]

Good morning, itm, I am sorry it is so rough for you and the boys, but I know you see who truly cares about you. What a nice friend to do that. I got choked up when I read it. Whenever I read of stories like that, It inspires me to be better and nicer, not just to family, but to strangers, too. I sometimes ask God to give me someone to help in some small way.
One day, your son's father WILL regret treating him that way. And your son will always hold YOU in high esteem because of who you are.

vc

[MynameisMZ]

Hey ITM....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I could swear I posted HB to you on the 26th, but now can't find it. Probably didn't hit "Submit" crazy as I have been lately.

[imthemom]

Thanks girls...i had a good day, but waited all day to hear from H, never did. Then got a text this morning saying happy bday yesterday, sorry...
So guess he forgot...obviousely not on his mind.

Something interesting happened today...i was going threw some things that i had moved out of old house and found a notebook that looked like an attempt at joyrnaling from H....it only had one day of writing from july 1st.
It said how he knew i had a lot going on with S21 (special needs) but felt like i didnt care if we worked things out and that i had made a comment about things going back to the way they were when we split up and how that was hurtfull...he was busting his butt to stay sober and he knew things were different.
It broke my heart..why didnt he ever voice these concerns??.. he never tried to speak to me about it...
It also showed me he lied when he said he wanted a divorce a year ago...this was the writing of a man who missed his family not wanting a divorce...and the A hadnt started yet...
Ive got a lot going threw my hwad now....

[imthemom]

My head is in over drive since i found that....someone give me some input, so i can just move on!!!... I dont know why this is even effecting me!!!