What do I do next? Part 3

[luvhurts49]

Today wasn't a very good day for me. Without my kids for the first time on Christmas day. I know it should be just another day, but it isn't. I find myself day dreaming about my W and what she looked like when I dropped my kids off yesterday--dreaming about what should have been.

This is supposed to be the joyous time of year, yet it is the hardest time to be without your family--the people that mean the most in your life. I find myself crying most of the day away thinking about things that I've lost, time that I will never get back, and the time that I will not have with my kids going forward.

Today is supposed to be filled with love and happiness, yet I find myself alone, depressed, and unhappy. I try to do everything I can to make myself better. I pave the road to make things easier. I do whatever it takes to make things right. But I do not see the light and the end of this tunnel--I can only hope that it is there.