Merry Christmas, WHG, and hope tomorrow brings you some inner peace.
I agree with you that, you walk with your head held high. That you have kept your vow, that you have been a good dad.
I did the same last summer when H and I were invited to a family get together with out of towners. Although his parents didn't know at the time what their son was about to do, which was plan to leave me and our daughter. I know he was watching me, and watching my interactions with his family that day. He seemed to be curious in a way. Later on, not so long ago he brought that up and said he didn't know how he would tell his parents that he was leaving us... and that he could see I was a good DIL and loved his family like my own. I don't know if my behavior at his family's affected his decision to stay, but it seemed that it gave him something to think about.
I think you did the right thing, the generous and kind hearted thing by getting her the sub. I kind of nodded my head as I read that part... because I'm like this too. I wouldn't have the heart to just let h go hungry. Many times during his threatening to leave me, and his talk of his plans to go... I still continued making his sandwiches for work. There were other things I stopped doing... that he was used to, but when it came to these other things I continued to do what I felt in my heart was right.
I didn't do these things hoping it would sway his decision, but ultimately, when he reflects back on that time period.... he has brought up the fact that even when he planned to walk out, I still treated him with kindness.
I'm very glad your W saw that kindness in you, and thanked you many times over
The way your W got over the top upset, reminded me of my h, and his total selfish-ness he was going through. Everything was about him.... and if he at all thought for a moment that I was going to try and talk him out of what he wanted, he would blow up like that. Then later he'd say sorry. It is very interesting though, where their mind is at in the midst of all of it.
