First post, words of wisdom needed

[sunshine76]

Hey IS, I haven't tried melotonin yet, but I definetely need to get some because not sleeping is not helping my depression. I have been insured under my W's plan until about 2 weeks ago when she kindly took me off (even though she said that she would never take me off of her insurance until I was able to get it on my own). So prescriptions are not an option right now.

Personally I don't think sleeping until March is going to be long enough for me unless you were talking about 2013.

I know what you mean when you say, "The pain is visceral and I cannot figure out what to do to make it go away." Picturing the OW holding my W and knowing that she is getting the amazing W that I used to know is really to much to even process. I have no idea how people get through this!!

6 months ago I would have bet my life that my W and I could work through anything and she would never be with another woman. I know that I made alot of mistakes. My mom was killed in a car accident 7 years ago and was only 46 years old and that threw me into such a deep dark depression that I was totally selfish and neglected my W. Don't get me wrong I had issues with depression before that, but this took it to a whole new level. I'm sure like most people on this board I cannot even begin to imagine life without my W. I had every intention on growing old with her. I don't understand how they replaced us so quickly and have absolutely no qualms about it.

I am going to go through and read your posts tonight (I'm sure I will be up most of the night).

I can't imagine going through this with a child so I give you so much credit!!! Try to be strong tomorrow. If you can't muster up the strength for yourself try to dig deep and do it for your son. Don't let them get the best of you. Walk in there with your head held high and a smile on your face. Don't give them any reason to pity you or to resent you. You are much better than that!

I haven't posted on facebook in years, but I will have to check out livestrong.

Try to hang in there. I know that we are waist deep in this crap right now, but I also know that some day we are going to look back and it is all going to make sense.

Purgatory I can't thank you enough for all of your support. I had no idea that melatonin came in a cream. I am definetly going to google that because sleep sounds really good right now. I hope that you have an amazing christmas with your family!