Well, the future isn't written yet, so I don't feel you are kidding yourself. You are doing what you need to do to get on with your life, still knowing what you want in the end. No, I don't guess the kids telling her they don't like him will make her come running back. But, I do think it could give her reason to think about the choices she is making. What she ultimately does in the end is the great unknown. I am sure the om is giving her something she felt she was missing, but as you know, the first blush of "romance" wears off eventually, and reality sets in. For them both. From being here, you know how these things usually seem to go, and you have that knowledge to your advantage. You also know, from the advice you have gotten here, and from reading other posts, that being patient (which you have been), and GAL (which you are), and working on yourself (definitely you have done a great job with that), are the best things you can do for yourself.
And, how many months is it now that you've been sober?
Just let her be, let her go through this "journey" she has set herself on. Eventually she will come out of her crisis, and may find her way back to you. I imagine she is finding it hard as well, but like them all, they seem to have to stay on this course, until it's done.
We get so sentimental at this time of year, longing for the perfect family togetherness, that it's no wonder it seems all the more painful when things like this are happening.
I know there is nothing I can do, I've just got to let her be, but I miss her
I have turned my life totally on is head in how I live it, and how I feel, it's all for the good of me and my kids but I miss her
The changes are for me, my life is better for the changes, I know it and feel it, but I still miss her
I also know I have to go through this pain for things to get better, I'm doing everything I should be, I'm fit and well, I'm happy in myself and content with life in general But, she is everything to me
I hate the no contact, even though it's better I'm off the roller coaster We have been split for 14months now, and although I'm a lot better in me, the hurt is still there
I don't know what the future holds, I just know this isn't getting any easier!!!
I can't mind read, I just hope she is having some thoughts about me, that some how can draw us back together
Hey, hope your week is going well. Are the kids excited about Christmas? I know you miss your W, I really feel bad for you. and I hope things will turn around in the not too distant future.
Merry Xmas to you too vc and to everyone on here!!
Been off the boards for a while, I was really down for a while and just needed to be alone with my thoughts, didn't think being I here would really help
My wife and I finally spoke, it was basically over the kids and a conversation we had to have, it was nothing heavy and neither spoke about us or the past so it was fine
The kids spent Xmas eve and Xmas morning with her, I got her some nice things from the kids, nothing specifically from me I always got her nice things, so it seemed the right thing to do
When the kids came they said that mum really liked them and said thank you
I had the kids all day and night while wife went to her sisters for dinner, she texted the kids most of the day, it's obvious it hurts to be away from them, I know!!!
Then my daughter said that mum was home, it was only early and I knew om is away working, so I sent her a text saying if she wanted to come and see the kids, it was fine I knew how hard it is She replied thanking me and said she would ask the kids what they wanted
Anyway long story short, she came over for an hour, kids were excited, and it was nice
We ended up talking between us, she was asking about how the drinking was going, work, etc All nice and civilized, we laughed about a few things and it was really relaxed
Then she went, afterwards I was a little sad, I have been through a tough period, really missed her, but got through it, after she went, I know more than ever I want her back!!
She has called a few times today to speak to the kids, but we spoke also, all light and easy
I don't want to mind read but I saw in her eyes last night that she loved me
Don't know what will happen, but we were a happy family of 4 last night, she knew it, the kids did and so did I
Don't know if it will change things, but I'd be amazed if she didn't think about things today
Hey DC, I still think slow and steady wins the race. And, I think she put it off on the kids as to whether or not she came over, because SHE really wanted to come, but why admit it?
I am glad you had a nice Christmas with the kids, and with the whole family for awhile last night. I am sure it was rather bittersweet.
You know, there is still lots of hope for you and your W. I think so, anyway. Just try to stick to the DB principles, and know that they DO work. I was supposed to be heading for D by last year, and I really believe that a combination of naturally knowing some of what NOT to do, and finding this site, and finding out what else not to do and what TO do, helped my situation immeasurably. Acting as if, was a big help for me.
