But can you be at peace and still feel remorse for for wrong things that you did? Even though you've forgiven yourself for the wrong things you did?
I want to "live and let live and be unattached to past hurts...", I just seem to be struggling.
I'm trying to think of how to explain it. I believe you can not be at peace, if you still have attachment to the remorse. Perhaps because there's still attachment to the pain you feel you caused your W.
Work on pulling that back. Your responsibility is what you did. You further took responsibility to feel bad for what you did (not for how someone else felt about it). And finally, you've forgiven yourself for the action or words and found peace in yourself.
On the other side, something you cannot control. Yes, what you did or said may be bad or harsh. And human nature is to feel hurt when someone hurts us, intentionally or not. In the end, it's your W who needs to take the responsibility of feeling hurt. Nothing you can do about that. Until she owns her own feelings and works through them and lets them go, she cannot find her own peace.
You cannot control that she still (wants to) feel(s) hurt.
Find the peace in yourself. In that, you forgive yourself. Find peace in yourself and you CAN and WILL forgive your W. Find peace within yourself, and you will know forgiveness.
I hope that makes sense. Again, it can be hard to do. It CAN be done, though. With or without your W's forgiveness.
