What else could I have done?

[antlers]

Even though I feel like I want to communicate with her (to apologize for my behavior during the marriage, and share some things with her that I never got to say), would it be a mistake to do so? I still feel an emotional affinity to her. I believe that she still hurts because she was treated the way she was, despite what's been said, and I feel bad for it. Even though I know our marriage is over, I still care about her.

Do I have to stop caring in order to get my power back? Do I need to stop any and all communication? She got hooked up with her new guy back in early October. For the previous 6 months we were communicationg in a pleasant and joking manner regularly.

Is it just stupid and non-productive for me to attempt any communication with her at all? Would it interfere with any progress that I've made over the past 7 weeks? Would it interfere with my future progress?

I'm just sad about the whole damn thing. The emotional divorce is damn hard to me, and I'm really struggling with it. I've already suffered through the physical divorce, including all of the awful legal aspects and the distress and hurt that they cause.

Ever since this bad stuff began, once I knew better, I've wanted to fix it. I've wanted to fix she and I, and I wanted to fix our family.