Spent 3 afternoons together with daughter and H. Had a lovely time too.
H admitted last night again, that it's me he loves. He's still drawn to OW because of daughter only, but knows that he doesn't love her, only cares about her because she's the baby mama. He knows he has to break that tie but isn't sure how to do it. (Still feels that being nice to her is a way to get to see daughter.)
This was a result of a few days of H saying things about US buying a new smaller house together, getting the lawyer started on custody agreement, buying a bed... showing daughter HER room at OUR house. (WTF?...if you've made a decision, wouldn't let me in on this be helpful??)
I finally said, I'm a little confused here: You're saying things that on one hand, make it sound like we're going to be together.
He said: "well yes."
A discussion ensued about H feeling he needs to deal with OW his own way. I cautioned him that I do not believe one iota that she is going to want me to have anything to do with daughter. The only way you will get to see her is if you GET RID of me. He shook his head and said, I don't think so. I held fast, said, honestly, I don't think that being nice to her is going to help one bit. She wants to control your life and wants me out of it. Period.
H admitted OW wants to run him and her H... to get them to jump to her tune. I simply stated: Well, you're going to have to decide to get off that ship for yours and daughters sake.
One or two baby steps forward... I know, I know... there'll be slips.
My feelings about this are mixed, I know he has to see her for what she is. It's happening slowly, by his own admission... but I think until she does something TOTALLY nuts on him... this spin cycle is likely to go on.
Abs
T:22, M:20 H:55 Me:45 H-OW PA: N/07 OW Jan08 Bomb:Feb/08 S: Apr/08 Back together Ap1/09-Sept/11 Oct, 2011, uncertain future/H is a mess. Dec/11 - Doin'friend mode. Some days are better than others.
