What else could I have done?

[antlers]

I have owned my mistakes and I'm a better man for it. And I've had tremendous remorse. She refuses to forgive me. Period. At least so far.
She hasn't owned anything. And she's had no remorse. At all. At least to my knowledge.
Barb, I'm tremendously more hurt than I am angry. I have truly forgiven myself, after working to be able to do that for 3 solid years. But I still have a conscience, and I still feel bad that I hurt her like I did.
After over 3 years of this misery, there is no 'instant' anything! Considerable time has passed, but I've only really been putting forth real effort to let go since Halloween. I've made some progress. I want to keep progressing in a positive way.

"Why not make adopting a new attitude/behaviour part of your New Year's resolution?"...that is an outstanding suggestion, and one that I intend to do!