I have come back often to read your posts and just couldn't respond. I've been thinking about what you have said each day though.
Maybe it is a miracle... maybe I'm afraid to accept it, as I wait for the other shoe to drop.
I realized days ago, that I was starting to ruin it... when I noticed H pulling away a bit. The look in his eyes read to me that he was feeling down..
We had a talk about it and he insists that he understands what he went through.. and that he doesn't want it to happen again. And he asked me..."Why won't you believe me? I'm here, and I'm staying".
So it made me think about your posts and what I was doing, which is, ruining it.
I've changed my attitude since our talk and I notice that H's happiness returned again.
I really think he is being honest with me about staying together.
I just think that fear has kept me from completely opening up.
I go through these anxious feelings inside..... sometimes each day the past week. Most of these feelings are worries such as..
Will he do this to me again What will I do if it happens again Is he going to change his mind about staying?
I have to really overcome this, if we are going to piece the m. Cause he's sensing all of my fears. He did tell me he knows I'm afraid.. and that he doesn't want me to be afraid anymore.
I definitely stormed heaven with prayers last summer and fall... and I believe God has had his hand in this the entire time.
