"Today was my D's bday. Got home early and told her she should open her present. She did W never came downstairs to see it or be part of it. So I was hurt."
OK, so you are hurt for your D because of your W's disinterest? Do you think your D even noticed? If she did notice, why must you shoulder the burden? Your D is old enough to see what is going on. Let her do some of the emotional work on your W. It's better that your D's anger or sadness come from her towards your W then from you. Don't you think? Did you invite your w to see D open it? This is the kind of stuff you just have to let roll off your back, Rick. I mean, really!
for sure...and you know it Rick...
Then because you are hurt, you get pissy and start making demands about furniture you don't even care about. What ever happened to keeping the road home paved and smooth?
AMEN!!!
Also, in an earlier post you talk about collecting paperwork for the L and that you have 2 weeks to get it all in but you are trying to get it done this week. Why? It seems to me that you could buy yourself more time if you slow-rolled this just a bit. Maybe even request an extension of the deadline. Just something to think about. what's with doing it all BEFORE and DURING Christmas? What's with "making a great Christmas for D" and then dredging all THIS up now? First you put stuff off and now you won't delay any? And somehow you read into your w's purchase of the toner (again, something you could have done)
and geez, just such poor communication!
Tell me ONE way YOU communicate better or differently now, Rick...please...
And btw, what's with making your w 100% responsible for how the past 26 Christmases have gone? "W never did this or that..."....what did YOU do?
Honestly you STILL do this weird thing where it is all up to HER how things go and you are like a passive piece of furniture seething with resentment in the corner acting helpless.
Can't SHE say "Rick never made for a happy Christmas b/c he dumped it all on me"???
Rick, take charge of the choices you made AND the choices you did not make b/c they are still choices...just the not so brave kind...
Next time something happens that gets your dander up, put up that mental STOP sign in your mind and then go take a walk. That is so much better than opening your mouth and getting your self in trouble. Wouldn't you agree?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
