WAW told me she idoesn't want to be married.

[witz10]

[quote=witz10]I am going up for xmas morning for presents and breakfast, which I will help out with if she lets me.

stop with the "if she lets me". Just do it. Don't ask

and don't act like you expect to be rewarded. This sounds like a parental function she should not have to do ALL of by herself anyhow...imo

I understand what your saying and over the past few weeks I have stayed to help put groceries away or picked things up she wants to be independent and show she can do it. She won't let me help. She tells me not to do something. When I was still there I would occasionally do dishes in the sink for her. She is like her father and very bull headed at times.


[IF your w believes you will hold the affair (I'll assume it's an affair for the sake of discussion b/c I don't want to get bogged down in whether it's an EA or a PA or whatever...)
so if she believes you will hold it over her head like the Sword of Damacles
or throw it in her face every time you feel insecure or angry,
she won't come back.[/b] This is one reason it's SO important you Not appear resentful]

She knows I wouldn't hold it over her head. I don't hold grudges life is too short especially when you care so much for someone. Yes I will have some issues to be worked out with her in regards to intimacy. She has slept with OM. She didn't say it I asked her if there was anything else I needed to know when I confronted her and she told me not to ask any more questions. At which point I looked at her and said your right I know the answer so I won't ask.
When getting back together this will be the hard part. I know this will take time.

[I believe Many more WASs would come home if they thought they would be forgiven.] How do you tell them that you would forgive them though?
[I say 2 things to that. First, to HER the marriage was unfair for a LONG time...longer than YOU realize and]
Your right she and I should have spoken about this more then we did.

True to Afirca

[Lose the anger, at least in front of her.[/b] I know that is hard. Believe me...but it does help YOU and your family.]
I don't show any anger when in front of her. She shows it more to me. When the kids spill a drink or not listen then I calmly help out and take over. I have gotten more patient since this has happened, I see the difference.

[that is all future talk and still depends on HER....]
I feel if you can talk and still see a future with a person then it could happen.

I tried indoor rock climbing and was ok till I lost my footing and my shoulder popped.

I want to take a comedy course down at a comedy club in philly but it costs too much right now.

I have to look and see what courses or other things I can do that would interest me.

I also want to look into a comedy troop.

I have to figure out what I want to do. Sort of a bucket list.
One thing next summer a drop ride down the shore will be crossed off my to do list. I have gotten better with rides.

Thanks again
Happy holidays