Like Two Sparrows in a Hurricane (1)

[MAL]

Thanks adinva.

I left a lot out in what I was sharing which probably would have explained more about what happened in our R, things he has said. I have listened to him in some of the R talks. We talked about things from both sides.

Mostly we agreed that we had been becoming more like friends, and not meeting each other's needs. We did talk through some of it, but outside of a real R, we wouldn't know if we could work through it.

We admitted things we should have done differently, and we both talked about regrets. The talks were good for both of us, and real eye-openers.

But after that last one where I really laid things out there, I haven't talked like that with him anymore.

So I don't really know what he is feeling, wanting, or missing. When we talk, I do listen to what he says and we share a lot with each other. He shares things he is excited about, and terxts me out of the blue sometimes. But we do not talk about us.

I am being a good friend to him right now, and I know that. I hope that explains a little more. I don't mean to come across one-sided -- it's just all I haved to share.

I do want him to be happy, honestly I do. If this other person makes him happy, then that is great. Life will go on, and I will always have a great friend. It will hurt, but I know there is something else planned for me.

I'm just not sure that is all we are. And I don't want to screw up again, or have regrets later.

I think he is having a tough time right now, no doubt. And I pray for him every day.

I can also admit that the time we have had together has shown me some of the things that drove me nuts in our relationship. I am not wearing rose-colored glasses. But I know that the things that were good were really good. And that is worth working for.

I honestly didn't know he was talking to someone when I came to all these realizations. Sure, being rejected hurts, but it's not the reason I am back in this place. I have asked myself the same questions. It was a good reality check for me.

I like what you said about meeting him where he is, and letting him come to me. It should ease some pressure on him.

This morning is an example. I wasn't planning to contact him, but he texted me. So I responded to whatever he said. Still light-hearted.