IS, I wanted to drop in and let you know I'm thinking about you.
This time of year is hard for many of us here, myself included. I think one important thing you realize is that when you do something you shouldn't have done, you recognize it. In my book that's progress. I also think you're making progress in not doing those things as often. Keep moving in the right direction. Stop thinking about whether this is going to be your last Christmas together - you never know.