Wife Left (Part 2)

[workinghardguy]

Yes... don't tell her you're "thinking of you" since that's the last thing she wants you to be doing. It is problematic because it creates guilt for her because she's not doing the same. It's also somewhat controlling because the unwritten corollary is "and you should be thinking of me too" (and if you aren't you're a bad person... that's the guilt part).

I will admit I got my W a very small present. But tonight after supper I told her about it. I didn't want her to first see it Christmas morning in front of the kids and have a negative reaction. I gave her the option of receiving it or it going to someone else. I didn't want her to feel obliged and told her I don't care which, and that it cost me literally $2 more to get her that gift. She agreed to accept it and thanked me for thinking of her. Then she asked what it was, but no... you still have to wait for Christmas That did get a smile from her at least