Wife Left (Part 2)

[sunshine76]

CO1978, I was just thinking to myself that now I understand what it is like to, "walk on eggshells" and than I read your post and see that you are feeling the same way.

It sounds like we are both learning a HUGE lesson.

You are making alot of really positive changes. Keep up the good work and just know that all of your hard work will pay off in the end.

Have a great day!

[CO1978]

Sunshine I guess thats what they call Karma huh?
Today was a great day so far, I worked out earlier in the day, may get another work out in yet later tonight. I took S to McDonalds Playplace, TBH it was the first time I ever took him there. I see he is a pro at the place, so W must have taken him there quite a bit, so I really felt bad that I wasn't doing that with him, but hey thats all in the past, we had a great time today. He is so tired out he fell asleep by 5 pm, could be a long night if he doesnt wake up soon :P As I said earlier in my posts GALing isnt the easiest when kids are involved, but these little moments like today that I spend with him are better than any big activity I could ever plan. I realize I not only took my W for granted, but my S too. I am glad he wasn't old enough to see it. W called me about an 20 minutes ago, was watching a movie so I didn't answer (It wasn't easy to resist answering either, but hey I can't always be there for her unless she comes back right?), she didn't leave a message so it couldn't have been too important. Now must resist all urges to call her back (its like the sign that says don't push this button).

[CO1978]

W called today after she got off work and said she was coming over to see S. We had our normal conversation, she seemed to be in a pretty good mood and no longer sick. She ended up taking him to McDonalds Playplace again. When she got back she walked in on my working out. I was drenched in sweat, she commented on it. We talked about her work schedule, she mentioned she is still fixing up the empty half of her parents house (I noticed she throws something about that in each day to reiterate she has moved out). She said she would be by in the morning and she is off tomorrow. She also said she would set 2 alarms so she would not be late again. I told her it really wasn't a big deal, it happens. That was that, it is always great to see her, and we haven't had a bad conversation since the beginning of the month. I did get her a Christmas gift. I had to get her something, regardless if she gets me anything, I couldn't bring myself not to. I got her a card that more or less says best wishes in whatever makes you happy, then I signed it "Thinking of you". Enclosed in the card are 5 kindle book download codes (I am very good at picking out the right books for her). The card is attached to a Christmas bag that has S's Christmas drawing in it and some cozy socks (2 pair) and slippers (I am going to tell W the socks and slippers are from S). Is that too much to give to her? All together it cost about $50 (with the Christmas bag). Is the card ok? I don't want to cross the line and set myself back, or seem like I am perusing in anyway. The card doesn't say LOVE anywhere in it (I picked it out of the friendship section or maybe someone special).

[CO1978]

This morning W came to house, earlier than usual. She said it was because of weather, she was afraid it may be icy. I let her vent about work, she seemed a little upset about some stuff that was going on there and how her district manager put her on notice for her sales which could have her lose her job. Her manager reassured her, she wouldn't. I reassured her also, since she is a hard worker they would be fools to let her go. She also said she was going to take S to movies today since she was off (his first time to movie theater). We talked (well she talked, I listened) for about 20 minutes, then I had to leave for work. She told me to have a nice day at work and I told her to have fun today. (I am liking that she is at least saying this to me now everyday.) I won't see S until tomorrow sometime, and won't see her again until Friday morning, so I really need to GAL. Tonight I am going to a prayer meeting at a church I am trying out. First time doing this, should be interesting. I also have to get some exercise in.

[edgarb]

CO1978,

It's good to read some of your positive updates! Keep up the good work! I think someone said it earlier, but I'll say it again...keep an eye out for, and enjoy, the small positives. You're getting a lot of those, so keep doing what you're doing. As I'm sure you know, be careful not to attach to much to a positive interaction with your W though. Just enjoy the interaction for what it is, stay a few steps ahead of her and keep it up! Congrats!

[CO1978]

Another crazy day at work (I am A Corrections Officer at a State Prison). A day like today I would have stopped at bar and drank a few, honostly I would have probably spent 8 hours in the bar and left when I was out of money. That was the old me, the new me (sober for 7 weeks now) actually learned to cope with my stressful job and left work smiling. After work I finished (well almost) my Christmas shopping and then I went to pick S up from W's parents. I hung out a little bit and talked to MIL and BIL. One SIL was there said hi and left. She made cookies with S ear.ier in day. I gave a hickory farms meat/cheese, some holiday popcorn and some chocolates over as a Christmas gift for their whole family. They seemed happy about it. Wasn't expensive, and wanted them to know that I still cared and appreciated all they do for S. When I left I wished them a Merry Christmas. Other than that very uneventful day. Just S and I hanging out. Gonna watch Kung Fu Panda 2, the thrill of my day, lol, but its quality time with S and that is the best GALing there is!

[BklynMom]

I think the gifts and card are too much right now. It feels like your wife is getting curious about what you are up to so I think the gifts might be over kill right now. Maybe just give her the socks and the download codes in a card that says Merry Christmas. When I here "Thinking of you" it sounds risky and she may take it a pursuing. Just my 2cents.

Great job not drinking. Keep it up

[Hopeful321]

I agree with BklynMom

[workinghardguy]

Yes... don't tell her you're "thinking of you" since that's the last thing she wants you to be doing. It is problematic because it creates guilt for her because she's not doing the same. It's also somewhat controlling because the unwritten corollary is "and you should be thinking of me too" (and if you aren't you're a bad person... that's the guilt part).

I will admit I got my W a very small present. But tonight after supper I told her about it. I didn't want her to first see it Christmas morning in front of the kids and have a negative reaction. I gave her the option of receiving it or it going to someone else. I didn't want her to feel obliged and told her I don't care which, and that it cost me literally $2 more to get her that gift. She agreed to accept it and thanked me for thinking of her. Then she asked what it was, but no... you still have to wait for Christmas That did get a smile from her at least

[CO1978]

First off, Merry Christmas to everyone, I hope everyone is having the best holiday season as they can! Ok update on past couple of days: W and I have continued normal routine. The other day she gave me $40 for gas money that she used from our account, I told her she didn't have to pay me back, but thanked her and accepted the money. I left in on the counter went to work and returned from work and it was gone. Today I found out she took it because S was playing with the money, and she said she would bring the money with her tomorrow when she comes to watch S while I am at work. Last night I picked up S from her parents house while she was at work and took him to my dads house. I told MIL I would have him back around 7 pm. She was glad because she wanted to bake cookies with him. Well W called me and left message asking me if I wanted to keep S for night and to call her back. Of coarse I said Yes, and asked her if she was going out. She said yes. She said I sounded mad, (not sure if I was) I told her I was just exhausted (which I know I was). As for today, she showed up with S after I got home from work and WOW did she look amazing. I complimented her, she thanked me. I noticed she was wearing pretty much all new clothes and boots and complimented her again saying she REALLY looked good, and told her I noticed her new clothes. Again she thanked me and she said she was tired of 2 of her sisters showing up at her grandparents house dressed up and her not. She stayed to watch S open presents and mentioned she forgot my gift from S at her mom's house and she would bring that in the morning also. I gave her her present which included the card (I know, I probably shouldn't have given the card, but did anyway). She thanked me and told me I didn't need to get her anything, I said I know, but I wanted to. She stayed a little longer to help try and fix my computer, which she couldn't finish and she said she would work on it more in the morning. She then asked if I wanted S for the night, or if she wanted me to have her take him. I told her I wanted him for the night. As she was leaving I took a big gamble and asked her if she would think about a "Holiday Quickie". She smiled and laughed and said she would think about it. When she left I noticed she forgot her present I got her and quickly called her, she said for me to set it aside for her in the morning because the socks would really come in handy. She seemed like she was in a really good mood and she said she would see me in the morning "bright and early". Overall the last couple of days the conversations were all decent, nothing negative. I only asked her about sex because I noticed she has been using her "toy" that she still has at the house, plus I figured if I call it something funny regardless of her answer, their shouldn't be any negatives from it. I will have to wait to see how she reacts to me in them morning. Well I am off to enjoy the rest of night with S. Merry Christmas again!