Indecision and the affair continues (Part 2)

[Nblost]

H is still very silent. My instincts have been right every other time that this has meant he is with OW. I've realized that I'm not even sure he's working this week in her city.

Painful for me because he wants us to act like we are happily married and have a christmas for the kids together. However, he isn't here or willing to communicate with me on any of the preparations. I know I'm lucky we can afford Christmas, etc...but very hard to be juggling everything and feeling like an emotional wreck.

I'm venting here because I am very tempted to lash out at him or OW. The only "bad" thing I've done is left him a VM today after several calls that he ignored. I just let him know I need to talk to him about Christmas and I've realized I'm not sure when he will be home.

I guess I need to remember that this furthers my resolve to be done...I can't stand this. He needs to move out and face reality.

The problem will be getting through the holidays and acting fun and nice to him. I will need a lot of strength.

I felt like we were making baby steps of improvement, but he may have only been acting that way knowing he was going to be staying with OW this week.

How can you tell your wife you love her and the kids and then go stay with your girlfriend for the week before Christmas?

I hope we can all survive this...