What else could I have done?

[25yearsmlc]

I don't deny that I've contributed to my misery. My happiness shouldn't depend on whether or not I get forgiveness from her. Do you agree?

um, YEAH!


I realize that it's up to her...there's never been any disagreement with that.

The changes I made were made because I realized that I was wrong, and I needed to make those changes because they needed to be made, period, and for no other reason than that. Regardless of anything else, those changes needed to be made, no matter what.

They weren't made to get her back or to win her forgiveness. They were made because it was wrong to be that way.

I know that.
I realize that, and have realized that for over 3 years now. And that is what happened.

I realize that too...but after the fact, what more could I have done other than what I did?


Damned if I know? I don't want my happiness to depend on something that I have no control over!

IT DOES NOT DEPEND ON THINGS OVER WHICH YOU HAVE NO CONTROL...

YOUR HAPPINESS IS COMPLETELY YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AND WITHIN YOUR CONTROL and only within yours...

AND NO ONE ELSE'S....

of course if you get cancer, or a car runs you over, that hurts!!

But you can handle it how YOU want to handle it. You really do create what is in your life.

You are in charge of your response. Similarly, you do not need a thing from your w to be happy.

She's not your w anymore...

she's like that homeless man who lived on a grill near my subway stop. For some reason, he HATED ME...

I must have reminded him of someone or triggered a synapse misfiring. He'd yell at me when I got off the subway on a daily basis.

I spent energy of mine, wondering what I had "done" to "make HIM mad at me."

One day my boss was with me and the homeless man, whom I only knew by sight, screamed at me and my boss joked that it "must be an old boyfriend."

For whatever reason, after laughing hard, I realized I had given power of my self image to an insane homeless man. His "Data" about me isn't real.

It makes NO difference in the universe what that homeless nut thinks of ME.

your bittersounding xw also has NO power over your life UNLESS you give it to her.

is her "Data" about you real? If it is, fix it.

If it is NOT "real data" about you or no longer applies, then let it all go...


when you see this and feel it (where the head goes, the heart will follow...eventually)

you will find your peace and joy again and NO ONE can take it from you.

it's yours...all yours and only yours.