What else could I have done?

[25yearsmlc]

It is time to let go. Forgive her for her wrongs just as you expected her to forgive you, yours. And accept that she has moved on.

I want to. I'm working on it. My youngest daughter recently told me that her mom "brainwashed" her and my son for over a year and a half against me after she left...she poisoned my kids against me for over a year and a half! And they are messed up because of that. That's not easy to forgive...do you agree?


of course it's not easy. If it were, we'd all have done it in a week...

but can you see that it is NOT about justice of what is fair??? it's about YOUR HAPPINESS. She is irrelevant.

You cannot use HER happiness/misery as an index for yours. If she wins the lottery does that diminish your life?

If her car breaks down, does that enhance your life? NO...she is NOT relevant to your happiness.

Treat your life as if it were a novel. Who is writing yours? How about YOU being the author of the next chapter and the rest of this book?

How do YOU want YOUR LIFE TO GO? Take charge of it. Be the author of your life


And forgiving her for her cheating and lying, especially while I was working to make things better for all of us...that's not easy to forgive. Do you agree?

Do you think it's necessary to forgive her these things in order for me to let go and move on?


YES I DO...but don't confuse forgiveness with condoning...just let it and her go.

WIthout any judgement. She's not in your life anymore. My biggest regret in my h's mlc

was how much time I spent on wondering IF HE was happy or miserable or what HE was thinking/doing/planning/feeling.

Instead, I could have spent all that time and energy on MY LIFE and my kids'...

btw, the more your w bad mouths you and in contrast, you behave with dignity, the more respect your kids will have for you later in life. I have seen this time and time again.

It will backfire on her and honor you, if you behave with strength and dignity.

She hasn't forgiven me anything, and she's let go and moved on according to her and her mother!

WELL...So what? Seriously...so what? What does that have to do with YOUR LIFE?

YOU MUST DETACH.


I really want to do whatever it takes...I just don't want to feel like this anymore.

I get that^^^. And when you are sick & tired enough, of feeling sick & tired, you'll begin the real process of letting go.

And peace will be yours. It gets better...I promise

((( )))