I'm not sure resentment is the right word, but I certainly feel unappreciated, and you're probably correct that it shows through. My W always felt unappreciated too, though I always tried to show my appreciation. Until, one day she asked me to stop. She no longer wanted either appreciation or affection from me.
As to withdrawal, you're probably right about that too. But, to be honest, the withdrawal was a 180 for me. I was one of those people who pushed when she pulled away.
And MAN! did she pull away!
I'd love to do another 180, but frankly, it hurts too much. Any attempt by me to bring us closer met with the typical pullback by her, and I just can't take the rejection anymore.
So, for the forseeable future, the only thing I can think of is to support her the best I can without any reciprocity.
One thing I've learned is that it's no use to give someone what YOU want. I try to give her what SHE wants.
And as callous as it sounds, the only thing she seems to want is my income, and for me to take responsibility for our son so she has the freedom to so her thing.
I honestly think she thinks I'm fine with that. Otherwise, I'd push back.
I tried pushing back, but whether it was poorly executed on my part (very likely) or badly received on her part (just as likely), she saw it as "being negative."
That's the "rock and an hard place" I refer to in the subject of this thread.
If it were possible to view my old threads (they're years old now), you'd probably see a common theme. I just try to be the best Andy I can be. I do that for W, and I also do it for me.
No matter how rejected I feel, I can look myself in the mirror and say I've done my best, continue to do my best, and will always do my best.
