You did say something that struck me. You would like her to forgive you. Well, don't hold onto that one. She may not. But that shouldn't affect how you let go of things in order to move on. It's like me wanting my exH to be sorry for all the hurt he has caused me, our daughter and my family. It's probably never going to happen. I just did what I needed to do for me.
I feel bad to this day for treating her the way I did. For over 3 years I've been sincerely apologizing to her, acknowledging my wrongdoings to her, and asked for her forgiveness....in addition to doing all of the work that I've done to fix me (because I was a broken person during the marriage). None of it has mattered to her. She says that she "hates" me. I do feel very bad for being the way I was to her. I would like her forgiveness. But my future happiness and well-being shouldn't be dependent on whether or not I get it...should it? Should I have to be miserable, and pay for the bad way that I treated her...for the rest of my life?
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
