I like the way Gineen describes it. I don't think that my ex and OW cheating their spouses or treating them in an abusive manner is something you can totally say "what you did was ok" - because I can never get to that place. But I can get "past" it. I won't let it ruin my life. That's sort of how I "forgive" so to speak. I sure don't forget and I sure don't trust him or like him or want him in my life. But the truth is - he always will be. In future - he and I will become grandparents on the same day. And we will both love our grandchildren no doubt, the way we love our children.
That's cool that you are an ER nurse. You see a lot. And help so many people every day. I have the deepest respect for nurses and have been touched deeply by many - something I can never forget.
And yes - how could he bail on his son. And truthfully - I think that's coming back now to haunt him and bite him in the butt.
Sometimes - if we step back and let them deal with their own guilt. Or sleep in their own mess. It really helps NOT to point it out to them. I could not do that for a long, long time despite everyone here telling me to do just that. I pointed and shouted and criticized him and told anyone who would listen how wronged I was. And he spent all his time being angry at me for his situation (?????) But when I stopped. He was forced to realize that he didn't live in a bed of roses. And he was able to see what he did to us much more clearly. And he stopped being angry back.
Do I think he is a dickhead? OH YEAH! But do I think about him much. Nope. I have too many better things to think of.
