Well... I'm finally home. My W, sons & even my dog showed up at the airport to greet me. My lawn was covered with huge signs from my neighbors and family, all lit up with huge flood lights. My W has planned a welcome home / holiday party too. We have been spending nice time together as a family, she went to the gym with me ( just like the old days), and was going to go for a long walk with me ... but it rained and decided to do it tomorrow. We've had conversations about all kinds of topics ( books, movies, kids)... Mostly small talk except when the topc drifted briefly to A-Stan horror stories. Sounds great.... Except for the fact that she sleeps in a spare bedroom in our house, has a deposit on an apartment and still plans to move forward with a D !? I haven't brought up any R conversations and have been acting as if. So difficult... She is beautiful and intelligent... I want to hold her, ML & never let her go. I wish...... But instead, I'm here with a " house-mate" and friend... Not a W. I know. I need to be patient, I just got back. Good news is that she and the Boys have noticed that I've been patient, not angry at all, optimistic, more outgoing ect - all of my 180 stuff. She even said that I look great. * Should I back off and not do anything alone with her? I've acted as if, and casually said that I'll help move a few of the heavy items when she moves out. She knows about my IC appts.... I haven't brought up MC again. My sitch is a bit odd because I've been gone for a year....* Any advice? My plan now is to keep moving forward, 180, get C ... and I've even located a D support group nearby that I'll check out. So scared.... More scared than in Afghanistan by far. At least I see improvement in myself , and others have noticed. Maybe W is waitting to see if the "new improved me" will last? I'm pretty sure that there isn't OM...my mind wanders over all kinds of nighmare scenarios. Yup... It's gonna be a long scary ride, I don't like roller-coasters : ) Oh well....I have a bunch of vaca time... I'll prob start working again in 6 weeks ( my civilian job) ... No more soldier games for a while, back to being in the reserves/ guard. Thanks again Everyone for always being there to help wth my sitch , your advice and concern! Take care P
(F.K.A. Broken422)
US 40's M 17,T 19 2 BOYS 13,16 Divorced 4/2012 11/2011 W SAID SHE WANTS D
"When it is dark enough,you can see the stars"- Ralph Waldo Emerson
