Hey Gunny! Hope you are well. I'm sorry to hijack but feel the need to comment to labug.
"I hurt him a lot with my irritability and resentment but I told him once, "I'm not doing this TO you, I'm just doing it."
I'm sure you probably realize this labug, but isn't that comment above just like saying, I'm not doing this to you, I'm just doing it, so tough sheat, suck it up and leave me the hell alone!
I'm sure that is how it was interpreted anyway. Hopefully you see that.
(((hugs)))
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
That was one line out of context to much larger conversation. There was a lot of me apologizing going on.
But it's good food for thought, I love it when others give me info on the way what I say sounds as opposed to what I think I'm saying. It's very helpful. This was way before DBing and I need to be careful of these unintended land mines.
Thanks, 2!
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
hey gunny! My plans for break are to see another L or two about my unique custody issues, do a LOT of reading for fun, and play as much as I can with my S.
Yes, the xmas music--- the lights, the whole 'family' thing is a drain this year, but this too shall pass.... I love xmas usually. S really is enjoying the tree this year, and he's been to see Santa, asked for a bike, and is trying really hard to be good so he can get it We already got him one -- he's a little guy, but he'll grow into it. I can't wait to see his face when he gets it!!!
As for the sleeping == I have been taking almost 1 mg xanax lately to sleep, but it seems like it's not working as well.... darn tolerance. I know a former student who is an herbalist, tree hugging hippie (lol) and she is convinced the pharmaceutical cos are out to kill us all. She believes in the all natural things and is trying to get me off all the meds... Well, we'll see....methinks sometimes one needs big pharm
Me (f): 45 W(f) 35 T: 13 y C: S4 adopted at birth 6-18-11 bomb: I want to break up 8-28-11 OW confirmed
I have had sleep problems for years. I don't know if you tried all the sleep things..... I am an expert (and have no small ego, too!)
Anyway, in no particular order here are things that have worked for me:
Make the bedroom dark! Get rid of all the little electronic glowing things. Set your alarm clock on the dim setting and don't have it pointing in your eyes!
Get on a sleep schedule. Really! I try to go down and get up at the same time. Even on weekends.
Don't nap during the day.
If there is some background noise that is disturbing you you might not even know what it is. I woke up at 3:30 ish many times. I finally figured out it was the kid with the broken muffler delivering newspapers. To solve this problem I got a "White Noise" machine. A fan works, too. I swear by it, and even have a little portable one for travel.
I relax by deep breathing. And try the drain the tension out of my body thing.
Then I take the 1.5 Ambiens and conk out because I have exhausted myself trying to sleep. Okay really the Ambien wears off after 4-5 hours on me too. Which is why I do all the other stuff I listed, because when you are trying to sleep it seems to get harder.
So I hope something here helps.
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
good morning all, Just returned from a few relaxing, rejuvenating days in the mountains of Pennsy, went up on Christmas Eve, did a nice 4 mile hike through the mountains in 20 degree weather, and then went to my brothers cabin where I met him and his wife and spent a nice relaxing Christmas Day. Even got about an inch of snow to help put us in the Christmas spirit.
I was originally going to go up there to spend a few days by myself, but I am very glad that my brother decided to drive out from Kentucky to meet me. It was good being around family for the holiday. For whatever reason, spending the holiday without my w was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Don't get me wrong, I miss her everyday. It is just plain sad. But, I survived the big Christmas holiday. For those of you who have been through this before, should I be ready for a big holiday post season blues?
I hope everyones holiday was peaceful and passed without too much heartache. It is a shame that we have to be experiencing this crap, but I hope by next year at this time that we are well along the road to healing. I wish everyone a healthy and happier new year in 2012!!
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
Good hearing you had a great time. I too did not feel as sad as I thought I would. This is the 2nd Christmas I spend without/away from my W and D. So I think this means we will be fine, right? Have a great one Gunny
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
We already got him one -- he's a little guy, but he'll grow into it. I can't wait to see his face when he gets it!!!