You know had a talk with my W based on some of the stuff you mentioned, she too has the same type of fatalistic nothing will get better so why try beliefs.
I asked her if she thought I loved her, she said, sure...
I asked if she felt that my actions expressed it. She said she felt nothing.
I asked her to help me by letting her know when an action makes her feel loved, also if something makes her feel unloved.
I've since backed off all expectations, and have worked at making her feel cherished, through actions, not words.
I'll let you know how that works...
Dont discount the nice guy stuff, so easily. You've said many times you are a giver, yet your wife feels she deserves nothing. There is a chance she feels that your kindness is self serving, even if it is far from the truth.
