You definitely have hope. Sometimes it takes longer than you hope it will take, but you have a REAL breakthrough in the fact she can tell you about her fear of talking to you.
GAL, and moving out and concentrating on YOU is important in some situations. It may or may not be helpful for your situation.
Anger and depression can take a real toll on your partner and your marriage, as you know they have taken a toll on you.
I think your best bet is to focus on getting healthy while maintaining real communication between the two of you. One of the really really oldtimers here, and no longer on the board, but quoted in DB, and I'm paraphrasing: is that REAL happiness is living in accordance with your beliefs.
What is at the core of YOU? What do you really believe in, what are your values? Are you living in accordance with them.
If not, do it. If you are, recognize it. Recognize that you are good. I imagine you have some yes's and some no's to the items in your life. It is so worth doing.
You may or may not be able to share this with your wife, depending on your closeness. Share it with your therapist, and if you can't, use a DB Coach. They have the right expertise here.
