DU: "I learned to view the devastation in my M as a wake up call to me. While my H has his own issues to deal with, I cannot help him or myself without truly looking in the mirror and figuring out who I am. "
I have been looking in that mirror for 7 months now (when H first moved out)... I'm starting to recognize the woman looking back at me. I told my C the other day, that I feel like I've come out of a fog and there is destruction all around me and I don't know how we got to this point. Part of that is that I literally don't remember the intensity of our 'fights' thanks to fugue states... but that doesn't mean they didn't happen- a reality that I'm coming to accept. I continue to be surprised (in a good way) by the things I'm learning about myself through my separation and beyond... I can see that I'm starting to like myself again smile

I'm not looking forward to the 'lows' when he leaves- but I have 5 months to make a game plan to handle them.


M-31, H-31
T-9, M-7
S-6, s-20mth
sep 8/1/11
ILYNILWY 11/29/11
Creating separation papers.
Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12
H moves out 1.20.12