"Am I crazy for thinking that this is incident is an opportunity? I am OK glossing over the dating remark - even though I fear that it will send a green light to her to date."
Do you really think you have any say in this whatsoever? Cause you really don't!
"I just don't want the fact that she has (on her own) noticed changes to go unaddressed."
Why on earth do you have to address with her the fact that she may have noticed some of your changes?
"How can I show her that marriage to me would be different/better from this point forward?"
Shut the heck up and show her some more changes. But don't say anything about them.
You may want to reread the Divorce Remedy because you seem to be missing some critical do's and don'ts that our detailed in the book.
I'm sorry for the forceful and direct feedback, but I feel like you need it.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
