Good for you for not giving her that hug. That took incredible strength, and I can only imagine the depth of your pain and loss. That said, the court date is now behind you so that's one less thing to dread. Mediation will not be all bad, they do generally like to see marriages survive, so they may require some MC which can only help.
Good luck to you my friend, try to tune it out and find some enjoyment for yourself over the holiday. Since you're hurting for cash and have extra time on your hands, any chance you could find a "fun" second job that you could put a limited number of hours into? Good way to meet new people and take your mind off things.
One of my friends is being a parking lot attendant at a ski resort. He had to commit to 8 days and gets a season pass for free in exchange. Volunteer opportunities would be another thing to look into to warm up the heart, meet some people, and build some self esteem.
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
