DB'ing is soooo hard!

[25yearsmlc]

Rick

I know you are hurting and like ALL of us at some point, you wonder about throwing in the towel.

All I can ask is that you not throw it in, when you feel THIS WAY...

if you are going to quit, do it on a day when you are in control of your emotions and thoughts and choose to. Not as a reaction.

Second, your w has a serious emotional history not of her making. She is finally addressing so much...

She was a victim of abuse for years, and you married her knowing all this. THat makes me wonder if you chose her b/c she was both beautiful and needed rescuing and you felt "owed" so that she would not leave you.

Now you are enraged and hurt by her choice to change the "contract" you thought existed but never discussed.

Putting people in that type of position seems to lead to "acting out" later on...but you were a participant in that.

Maybe when you both go to therapy together (if that happens, which I hope)

you can share your sense of responsibility for that and show her that YOU and the marriage can change and improve.

That is what you want, right?

DBing is NOT about saving marriages. It's about saving YOURSELF


and often that leads to "character flaw repair", but it always leads to CHANGE

and sometimes, to restored marriages.